A dear friend asked me today if I was
depressed. She had noticed among other
things for the last little while I was not my usual ‘shiny self’. And, I had to
stop and think about it. Yes, I confess
I’ve had ‘the blues’ in recent times, which I put down to a rather large amalgamation
of life’s stresses, but then I realized I have lost all motivation, tenacity
and joy that I usually hold in great reserves.
I’m not entirely sure why I am depressed.
Perhaps it’s the stress of life.
Perhaps it’s the emotional deluge of bad choices
made recently. Despite all the signposts
beckoning me for caution, I ploughed ahead with gleeful abandon.
NO one wants to feel the sting of
rejection, especially when they’ve put themselves out there. I just want to be loved. Is this such a hard task? People are forever
telling me how wonderful I am. How
beautiful I am. How lovely I am. How kind I am. How thoughtful I am. Some even go as far to say what a wonderful
partner I’d make. Yet none of these things
have equated to a companion. To someone
who actually wants to spend life with me.
Who values me. Loves me. Wants me.
Treasures me.
What is wrong with me?
