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| The Purple Mobius symbol for polyamory and non-monogamy |
I want to be loved. Loved and solely
treasured by someone I love and respect. But Samantha Jones said it best
“This love stuff is a motherfucker”.
Last weekend I found myself falling in
love with someone I had applied an expiry date to. The fascinating thing
is, as soon as I found out he had an expiry date for me I was out of
there. Hypocrisy? Totally!
I've been thinking about monogamy a lot
lately, or perhaps the opposite of monogamy. Is it such a stretch
to conclude one person cannot meet all our emotional, physical,
sexual and spiritual needs? In a day and age where most things come with numerous options, the evolution of 'relationship' to relationship derivatives seems like a natural progression.
It is said when a women ovulates she
unwittingly looks to mate with an alpha male for reasons that are
obvious...alpha males are predominately successful, strong, and
stable. All things that you would desire for your offspring. Yet,
throughout other parts of her cycle she seeks out the beta male – a
companion who is kind, gentle, sensitive and understanding. It is
also pertinent to add beta males make better active fathers. So
under the constraints of marriage 'forsaking all others' who should
she choose? The lover or the companion?
Men have a far better deal based on the
fact that women are complicated and thankfully due to this
complication they get a lover, friend, wife and mother in one package. A
women is able to juggle hats and if you're lucky, in time she is able
to morph all 4 into one. So the question begs; on what basis do men
select their partners? They are not hostage to a menstrual cycle, nor
are they wired biologically for specific gene selection.
Here is the thing...more and more I
find myself loosing faith in monogamy. But without a doubt it is
what I desire for myself...to be someone's ONE and ONLY. Yet, in the
same breath I have great doubts I could find a 'one and only'. Am I
being greedy? Maybe.
It all goes back to having your pie and
eating it too. I look around and see some average relationships, and
some fabulous ones. I wonder if they've found the secret? They have
either found the one who literally does complete them, although the
very notion of needing someone to complete me is total bullshit. I
feel complete as a person – but maybe that's my problem? Have these
people found the answer?...to deny part of themselves to become one?
Perhaps. Or maybe it's just a facade.
In the midst of drought, a mirage can
be easy to fall for. Especially when the real thing is still a
long, unforeseeable journey away.
All I know is I am incredibly thirsty.
